Want to complain?
A few people out there aren't happy with my Jesus profile.
This is understandable a lot of people don't like to see their god being made fun of or misrepresented. I always reply to these people and try to explain myself. So here goes a little something about the Jesus of MySpace profile.
1. Jesus was Jewish
This is of course true. But the profile is set in 2006. Notice Jesus is speaking english ? Notice Jesus claims to make over $250,000 a year ? Notice Jesus mentions repping the dirty south ? Notice Jesus is online ? All of this sets up the idea that this is Jesus circa 2006, not Jesus 2000 years ago (or whatever).
I chose to make Jesus's religion "Christian-Other" because Jewish simply is not fitting. It's widely known that Jews do not believe Jesus was the son of God. So as you can see - setting Jesus's religion to Jewish is just a bit silly even though it may be historically accurate. Why would Jesus be of a religion that doesn't believe he is who he claims to be ? Silly isn't it ?
2. You're an asshole for doing this !
" Judge not, that ye be not judged. " - Jesus , Matthew 7:1
" Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven " - Jesus, Luke 6:37
" He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone .... " - Jesus, John 8:7
3. This profile is blasphemy !?
The profile is mainly accurate. Let's review what the profile claims :
Jesus is from the Middle East : Correct
Jesus is white : False [Jesus was Middle Eastern and therefore, most likely not white.]
Jesus is here to get your souls all clean : Correct
Jesus has a love / hate thing with God : Correct [ "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? " - Jesus, Matthew 27:46 ]
God setup Jesus to be murdered : Correct
Jesus was a virgin : Correct [ No evidence to the contrary ]
Jesus is freaked out by crosses : Unknown but probable
Jesus doesn't like being nailed to crosses : Correct
Jesus walks on water : Correct
Jesus makes wine : Correct
Jesus walks a long ass way : Correct
Jesus likes harp music : Correct [check Revelation , I'm pretty sure they speak of harp music]
Jesus is his own hero : Correct [who else would be Jesus' hero ?]
Jesus is single : Correct
Jesus is here for networking, serious relationships and friends : Correct
Jesus' sexual orientation is "Not sure" : Correct [any other answer leaves some very sticky questions]
Jesus' home town is Bethlehem : Correct
Jesus has an athletic body type : Correct [remember all that walking ?]
Jesus is a Capricorn : Supposedly [there is no evidence in the bible which points to when he was born. December 25th use to be a pagan holiday FYI]
Jesus does not smoke but he does drink : Correct [wine was regularly drank back then however was not very strong]
Jesus is a proud parent : Correct [you are all Jesus' children]
Jesus has a freelance occupation : Correct
Jesus makes over $250,000 a year : Correct [Churches make far more than this for him, his word and his work]
This is understandable a lot of people don't like to see their god being made fun of or misrepresented. I always reply to these people and try to explain myself. So here goes a little something about the Jesus of MySpace profile.
1. Jesus was Jewish
This is of course true. But the profile is set in 2006. Notice Jesus is speaking english ? Notice Jesus claims to make over $250,000 a year ? Notice Jesus mentions repping the dirty south ? Notice Jesus is online ? All of this sets up the idea that this is Jesus circa 2006, not Jesus 2000 years ago (or whatever).
I chose to make Jesus's religion "Christian-Other" because Jewish simply is not fitting. It's widely known that Jews do not believe Jesus was the son of God. So as you can see - setting Jesus's religion to Jewish is just a bit silly even though it may be historically accurate. Why would Jesus be of a religion that doesn't believe he is who he claims to be ? Silly isn't it ?
2. You're an asshole for doing this !
" Judge not, that ye be not judged. " - Jesus , Matthew 7:1
" Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven " - Jesus, Luke 6:37
" He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone .... " - Jesus, John 8:7
3. This profile is blasphemy !?
The profile is mainly accurate. Let's review what the profile claims :
Jesus is from the Middle East : Correct
Jesus is white : False [Jesus was Middle Eastern and therefore, most likely not white.]
Jesus is here to get your souls all clean : Correct
Jesus has a love / hate thing with God : Correct [ "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? " - Jesus, Matthew 27:46 ]
God setup Jesus to be murdered : Correct
Jesus was a virgin : Correct [ No evidence to the contrary ]
Jesus is freaked out by crosses : Unknown but probable
Jesus doesn't like being nailed to crosses : Correct
Jesus walks on water : Correct
Jesus makes wine : Correct
Jesus walks a long ass way : Correct
Jesus likes harp music : Correct [check Revelation , I'm pretty sure they speak of harp music]
Jesus is his own hero : Correct [who else would be Jesus' hero ?]
Jesus is single : Correct
Jesus is here for networking, serious relationships and friends : Correct
Jesus' sexual orientation is "Not sure" : Correct [any other answer leaves some very sticky questions]
Jesus' home town is Bethlehem : Correct
Jesus has an athletic body type : Correct [remember all that walking ?]
Jesus is a Capricorn : Supposedly [there is no evidence in the bible which points to when he was born. December 25th use to be a pagan holiday FYI]
Jesus does not smoke but he does drink : Correct [wine was regularly drank back then however was not very strong]
Jesus is a proud parent : Correct [you are all Jesus' children]
Jesus has a freelance occupation : Correct
Jesus makes over $250,000 a year : Correct [Churches make far more than this for him, his word and his work]
